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Friday, February 13, 2009


Here is one from the Gov, a Valentines Day edition:

Jordy - Dur Dur D'etre Bebe

Katherine Oglivie - my first unhealthy, borderline madman obsession.
I was 12. I wore bright purple jeans stitched for only the coolest
'b-boys' by the Exhaust company bought with my allowance at the Eaton
Centre in Toronto. I liked "Freak Me" by Silk, Boyz II Men, and that
weird french techno song "Dur Dur D'etre Bebe" by Jordie. At home,
secretly, far away from my older cig-butt smoking B-Boy gang I owned a
Fender Duo Sonic and listened to Nirvana.
Katherine however knew nothing about me. She was amazing. She wore
only body suits and jeans, and call me crazy but to this day I think
it's an unbeatable look. Her blonde hair was cut in a bob, and I would
sit in the back of the class listening to 'Iesha' by ABC wondering how
many body suits she really owned and how many colors she had them in.
She was my 'Iesha'. I would envision us together at her house, both in
body suits, eating Mcdonalds. My ultimate fantasy [Other than one day
hooking up with the south american exchange girls that frequented the
spare room in my moms house (this also never happened)].

One day on the school playground, my chance to confess my love for her
came by way of a peach. Although I had asked her out many times I felt
that I had to go the extra mile to really make her see what Ben was
really about. I followed her around all lunch hour, watching her eat
this huge peach. Eventually everyone caught on that I was creeping
her, and she threw her peach pit in the garbage and told me to 'fuck
off'. My response was to fish the peach out of the garbage, and in
front of everybody lick off the garbage residue, and eat the rest
including the pit (which never came out).
"I don't care, it touched her mouth".

So Katherine, wherever you are. I'm pretty sure I still have a part of
you inside me (the pit), and even though you are a lesbian, every
valentines day I sit at the edge of my bed in an American Apparel body
suit eating Chicken Mcnuggets thinking of the old days.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck off

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, why'd you cancel your show in Omaha last night?

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's tough to be a baby!!

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get naked

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damian lost his voice

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

^^are you joking?

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whip it out

2:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no, not joking

10:33 AM  
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6:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like Katherine's still unhappy with the attention.... but it look you until 12 to have your first unhealthy, borderline madman obsession?

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was brilliant.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

luckily, now all the hot grrrls know they should get their body suits out for your next show.

1:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha that's hilarious.
I would totally eat a peach pit for you.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous jesse said...

Looks like Katherine's still unhappy with the attention.... but it look you until 12 to have your first unhealthy, borderline madman obsession?

7:48 PM  
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