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Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Hi wow, we just got back from tour. We brought along Nick Fenstle to "roadie" but he punked off. He sent this tour diary to Plan B mag, its going in their next issue. You can get the special sneak preview here. This is all bullshit by the way, Nick is a punk. All photos by Sandals McRanda

Hello, my name is Nick Fenstle, and I'm the UK secretary for Hidden World Enterprises - Fucked Up was asked to keep a tour diary going throughout their supporting slot on the most recent UK Gallows tour in Feb 2008, but neglected to keep any records or stay sober enough to
remember anything in the first place. As will become refrain in these entries, "they made me do it".

I got up extremely early to pick the band up at Gatwick for their 8am arrival. After about an hour of waiting I realized they weren't due to arrive until 8PM and they'd told me the wrong time. I spent the next 10 hours trying to catch up on sleep, periodically being woken up by security. Finally they arrived and had me take them directly to the Hawley Arms, which I tried to explain to them had burned down the previous week. We went anyhow and the band became almost violently angry walking through the charred remains of where they had met so many of their celebrity friends. The rest of the night was spent by me trying to deflect this misguided anger, which I felt like I was bearing most of the brunt. They told me they needed more shirts made, so I had to spend most of the rest of the night screen printing while they slept.

10,000 Marbles was violentely ill at the hospital as he'd been in Nigeria for a week's vacation on his way to England, so I spent a good part of today trying to coax him into playing that evening at Barfly. It was our friend Andy's birthday that night, so they had me go get him a cake. When I brought it back, they told me to get a bigger one. This went on for a while. When I got back to the club the band was doing a photo shoot for Kerrang which involved a lot of fake blood and toy pigs. Guess who had to clean it up. It was a great first show of tour - often they can be really lacking since people are tired and guitar strings are brittle from the plane ride, but things were really happening. Pink Eyes had a lit candle in his behind at one point during the set. Cake got everywhere, all over the amps and the cords and instruments. I spent most of the night cleaning all that off as well.

Our first big show of the tour, we joined the Gallows this evening at the UEA, a 1500 seater. We'd been to Norwich in the summer, to play the Tales of the Jackelope festival, where the set was cut off after 4 songs (they'd flown in just for that one show). For some reason they weren't letting me into the dressing room tonight. The show was fun - Pink Eyes spent most of his time in the crowd getting his clothes ripped off by 15 year old girls, no doubt the first such experience for most of them. Nice to meet the other bands on the tour, although I wasn't really allowed to talk to any of them either. The night ended with all the bootleggers outside being arrested - every Gallows show has a handful of guys selling bootleg Gallows shirts on the pavement outside.

We showed up to the Academy late and I had to sit in with the promoters getting yelled at for a while, even though I was up from 8am waiting for the rest of the band to wake up. The funny thing about this venue is the support dressing rooms are a 5 minute walk from the stage. Up several flights of stairs, through laundry corridors, other hallways. The band thought it would be a funny joke to keep "forgetting" things in the dressing room that I'd have to go and get for them. I logged about 6 miles of walking throughout the night getting their bags, books and pics. At one point during the set Gulag ran out of his "special" pics and I had to sprint to the room to get more before he could continue playing.

I'm starting to the think the band is fucking around with me.

This was apparently the best show of the tour. They played "Year of the Pig" in its entirety with Jessica Penfold. I wasn't able to go because the band for some reason was under the impression that the downtown congestion charge is lower if there are less people in the vehicle. Somewhere on the outskirts of London I wandered around looking for a pub that had the Corinthian Casuals game on television, but after a n hour of looking, I realized I had wandered all the way to Hendon and then got a phone call from the band telling me I shouldn't be watching any game anyhow, because it would "take my focus away from the tour". They also told me that they had met Kate Nash at the show - and while it was hard for me to believe them, because they knew how much I adore her, and must have said it just to taunt me, a sneaking suspicion still lingered and the thought of that missed opportunity tainted what little left of the evening.

I woke up inside the bands storage facility in the north where I was instructed I could sleep - there was no time for them to come pick me up after the show, they told me, and no money in the budget for a 90p bus ride to meet them. I met the bus on the side of the highway and we left for Manchester. We'd picked up Octavio since he was in London for a few days, so there was no longer a seat for me, so I crouched between two bucket seats. Manchester is my home town, and even though it had been months since I'd had any time off to see my parents, they told me there was no time to do it today, because they'd booked a tour of the stadium where Manchester City plays. Being a United fan myself, I decided to stay at the venue and set up the gear and soundcheck on my own. They showed up 10 minutes before set time and gave me a Man City scarf, and told me it was coming out of my per diem. They played a great show at Academy, and told the crowd to throw up as much beer on stage so I'd have to keep clearing off the stage.

We got to Academy early, because they band said Newcastle was their favourite city in England, and wanted to look around. Honestly I think they spent most of their time in video game stores and Ann Summers buying fancy dress. Nothing else on earth is like the north - today we saw 4 young women take a limo to a deserted street corner and get out all in matching nurses uniforms, on their way to no where in particular. Young Governor met one of them and missed the show. I hope he turns up in time to make it to Glasgow tommorow.

We had to take the Governor to the hospital again today for what he described as an ear infection. More northern loveliness up here. Grey skies, scary looking men, even scarier women. We ate dinner at a sports-buddhist fusion restaurant. The gig was at the ABC, and it was my job to ferry the gear up to the 4th floor. Our friend Anita Crapper shared vocal duties for the Gallows cover of Nervous Breakdance today, and spent the rest of the evening making strange
noises in the Set Your Goals dressing room.

This would be FU's 5th time in Leeds - all of the previous shows being at The Fenton pub. This time the show was at MET University. Marbles and Capper had me take along with them to try and watch the Carling Cup final - the first pub we ended up at was The Fenton. They had some
quiz show on. I took them to the Eldon and just as extra time started I got called back to start restringing guitars. I wonder who won. Pink Eyes slipped on his own blood during this set and broke one of his fingers, it wasn't a pretty sight.

A night off from the Gallows tour for a headlining show right on the beach. David Eliade was up in Brighton vacationing, so they spent most of the day with him in his hotel room. I wasn't allowed to come, even though I've met David on many occasions. They returned that night stone faced and upset. I was treated a bit better for the rest of the evening, and spent some time reading alone in the bus.

We've had lunch at Ikea for the 3rd day in a row now. We've been staying with a relative of the band in Bristol and the first road out takes you to the Ikea/Tesco complex. These pigs fill up on cheap hot dogs and pasta at the Ikea and then spend the rest of the afternoon drinking cheap wine from the Tesco.

Show cancelled today, someone with Gallows is extremely ill. The band rented Robocop and have watched it twice already. I'm putting new heads on the drums and screening more shirts. I heard they had a nice time in Bath today.

Apparently last time they were here the club was right across from the football ground, and the BBC firm tore through the show and beat up loads of attendees, since it was right after United had been relegated. Can't say I wish that hadn't of happened at this show. Played the small room of the corporation - what a high stage. We realized today that 2 of our guitars had been left back in Exeter. Gallows by this time was in London for a day off, so after taking a serious reprimand, I convinced the band that we'd just get them tommorow at the Astoria, and I'd rent them a backup guitar for this show. They made me use my own money. Gulag smashed the rental during the second song.

Just before you enter the main room at the Astoria, you'll see a half-size door in the wall. That's where I spent most of my night tonight, hiding from Fucked Up. There is no question now that they've been on a sick relentless personal quest to drive me mad on this tour, with expert results. I'm writing this on a stolen palm pilot that I found in one of their bags. They are playing right now. I'm sick of this - I'm about the boot it.

Today the show was in Kingston, just somewhere south in London. I heard it was great. I'm on my way back north. Good luck finding me next time you fuckers.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha fun then huh?

Props at the Newcastle love, great city (even if the show wasn't the best) xo

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