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Hello millions of new devotees. Here is the lay-persons guide to the band ______ __.
By Octavio St. Laurent.

A few years ago ______ __ was a stringy anarchist punk band that wore patches on their clothes and sang about the workers revolution during the Spanish Civil War. They would eat food from the garbage and didn't bother to write lyrics for the songs on their demo tape. Their distain for the "conventions of music" and self-imposed distance from their (small) audience made them instant legends in the inconvievable small hard-core-punk community in North America. When ______ __ started releasing more records, they took the form of 7" singles, which baffled many people. They band didn't care and as a response released a new 7" that contained only ONE song. People hated it, but the band loved it, because of their punk-attitude. Also the fans secretly loved the band for treating them so badly. Such is the psychology of a music scene full of wastoids with authority issues.

Things carried along in this manner for a few years, which could be summed up as a minor arms race between the band and their "fans". Then the band released their first full length record, called Hidden World. It was mostly about being afraid of dying and wanting to be a plant, or an ant. It sold modestly but also was picked up on by some major media outlets. Can you imagine how the bands core-fans reacted? Of course, they were incredulous! People would post pictures of sharks jumping over things on internet message boards, to voice their disapproval. The band became even more overjoyed at how their fans were reacting. Then yesterday the New York Times ran a review of a show the band played in Brooklyn. Even though the punks understood that the guitars were out of tune for most of the night, the Times felt the show was powerful and moving, and as a result thousands of stay-at-home moms from Queens clicked on a link to our "blog" that also ran in the story, and here you are!

Lets now go over a few things you should know about the band that you now have on your radar, but your young dirty child has already dismissed:

STAY AT HOME MOM'S GUIDE TO THE BAND ______ __

-The thing that looks like an F up there is the bands logo. A lot of cretins have it tattooed on their body. If you are interested in secretly being a fan of the band, it would be advisable to get it place somewhere on your body discreetly, like under the collar of you shirt on your lower neck, or around your shoulder. It is seen as a sign of devotion to the band (also know as "being lame") but also of not caring what other people thing ("even more lame"). But in your world it will make you mysterious and tough-looking.

-The band has a swear word as their name, but for you it will sort of be a minor liberation to tell it to your friends.

-There is "moshing" at the bands shows. Last month someone broke an ocular bone after he jumped from a stack of speakers. Also the lead singer, "Pink Eyes" (oh also - the band all use pseudonyms instead of their real names - it's sort of a punk thing that would take a lot of explaining). Sure, it's a dangerous world, but how bored are you of shopping for cauliflower every day?

-Some of their vinyl singles go for a lot of money on ebay. They would make great presents for your nerdy record collecting son. Try looking at his myspace to find his record-want list.

-This is especially true for the split 12" with the band Mind Eraser, which is literally impossible to find.

-The band used to be accused of "being nazis". It was mostly this thing where a band will often pretend to be interested in sketchy politics in order to create a controversy that people will talk about. Its sort of like what you would refer to as a "marketing ploy", but for violent lowlifes who respond to different inputs.

-The band has a manager called "David Eliade" who some people think is fake, and others aren't so sure about. Although I did have coffee with him this morning (he is my landlord).

-It is also important to make the distinction that even though they band are "punk", they have nothing to do with skateboarding.

-If you REALLY want to sound smart, tell your friends that the band "got you back into punk" or "renewed my faith in hardcore" or something, because then you sound like "so over it", but also "still into it" at the same time.

-In press releases the band purports to not have cell phones or drivers licenses, because the punk image they have to uphold needs to have these signifyers that differentiate them from mainstream culture, like the one you are all part of.

-Sometimes at a live show, the singer will smash a bottle on his skull or dig razor blades into his forehead. Some of the bands older fans have responded poorly to this, noting on its "gimmicky" nature. But we both know that these people just don't want their Manolo's to get skuffed up. It's best to come to a show with your dirtiest clothes that you wear to paint your boat on Long Island, and to have a "ready for anything" attitude.

-If you are at a dinner party and bring the band up and your friends ask you what they sound like, it would be advisable to say "everyone say's they sound like Poison Idea mixed with Negative Approach, but I find those influences to be too subtle, and liken the band to Khaottik Diisorder, but with a more Neu! approach to spacing".

-The band has referenced the Vienna Actionists, the Baader Meinhof Gang, the Situationist International, Charles Manson and Gille de Rais as main influences. If you don't know who any of these people are, it is best to just not find out. In cases where you will be found guilty of association from being a fan of the band, it is best to either plead ignorance, or just state that the band is trying to break down cultural cliches.

-Also the band has a pro-pedophilia song.

-Also the band once knowingly sold copies of a record to fans that was fake.

-Plus, they once penned and published their own interview in a major punk "zine" (which is like a magazine printed on newspaper but also with "diy ethics" [not the Home Depot diy, the dumpster food kind of diy I was talking about earlier] and try to claim otherwise.

-You can order a record by the band right here. Careful! This song is 18 minutes long and may become boring. But who are we kidding - you have plenty of time to listen to it! Just make sure to tell your friends that the first few 7"s were far superior, and the riffs on this one are "too repetitive".

-The band does not have a myspace page because they want people to know they are different. They just have this blog, so keep checking back here for more info and instructions.

So there you have it. We are glad to welcome you all into the fold. If you have more complicated questions about the band, "punk" or anything else related to your new culture, don't hesitant to email the bands fake manager David Eliade at vibrationandhum @ hotmail.com

You can read a short annotated history of the band here.
You can read a more rambling and incoherent account here.


Photo by Nina Hazen.

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